(Sally): One of mankind's greatest abilities is the power to lie. Whether it? for good or bad, profit or survival, we bend the truth. It's a skill we pick up early and hone over time, pulling the woo! over the eyes of our parents, our teachers, our boss, even ourselves. We tell ourselves we'll lose weight, quit smoking, that, at the end of the day, we're wally a good person.
(knocking) (Josh): Aidan! (knocking) Aidan! - What's up? - YOU okay? - Yeah, I was just watching something.
- Good, 'cause Sally's demanding we take her to the bar.
- She can't drink.
(Sally): So what if I can't drink? Hanging out at a bar isn't about drinking.
It's about hanging, spending quality time with my buddies.
- Sally, you're a great buddy, but you're dead.
- Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't have a life.
- You already had a life.
You need to continue your journey.
- Oh, God! I love how you say journey like I've hopped on some fantastical winged steed and I'm soaring through a cloudy land of adventure.
And it's not like I didn't try, okay? I went on my journey and I got my ass handed to me by Danny.
Now you two are all I have.
- Josh, back me up here.
(indistinct chatter) - Isn't that your, um? What is she exactly? - My Nora.
I mean, her name is Nora.
Ahem.
- Who's that guy she's with? - Travis Reid.
He's a doctor at SEH.
- Why don't you go over there and say hi? - No, I'm I don't wanna interrupt them.
I mean, it looks like a date.
- Looks like an after-work drink.
Probably just talking shop.
'Ah! Ahem.
What are you doing? - I'm gonna creep up there ninja-style and have a listen.
You're always throwing it in my face that I'm a ghost.
Let's put it to use.
- Wait! - Do you have any idea how difficult you make it for me to work? (Nora): Is that so? - I'm trying to focus, do my job, and I'm constantly distracted by you.
You're simply too attractive, Nora.
It's gonna cost someone's life one of these days.
(Nora screaming) What the hell? - Oh, my God! - Okay.
That was no after-work drink You need to get in there, pronto.
- Can we get a towel or something? - I'm not gonna go over there while she's picking glass off his lap.
- Listen.
The deck is stacked against you.
He's a doctor.
He's smart, he's rich, he's good-looking.
He's got great hair and a chin dimple and you're - Well you are Josh and you are very smart and, uh funny.
- And you look super-cute in that sweater vest.
- Yes.
- I do? - Yes! You're rocking it.
Get in there.
(rock ballad playing) What happens when we cal! our own bluff, when we can't convince ourselves that, deep down, we wally aren't the stuff of nightmares? (honking) (honking) (siren wailing) (phone ringing) (man): Dr.
Miller? - You know, I've been thinking about last night and you were right not to make a move.
- Really? - No! Look at them! Josh, you can't let Nora go out with that bastard.
- Maybe she's into bastards.
I don't know.
As long as she's happy, right? - Aw, you really are a janitor, aren't you? - Ahem.
I'm an orderly.
- Still kind of sad.
- What are you doing here? - You know, I just thought I'd come by, see what my homeboys are up to, hang.
- We're working.
- Doesn't mean I can't Dear God! That man looks even better in scrubs.
- Would you guys please just leave me to mop up whatever this is in peace, please? - Well, I'm done and, actually, I'm glad you're here, Sally, because I wanna show you something.
(woman speaking over PA, indistinct) This is the original hospital.
It was built in 1878, closed down in '89.
It was Boston's pre-eminent tuberculosis-treatment facility at the turn of the century.
Ah, yes.
- I'm bored.
Can I go back and watch Josh mop up urine? - The point is that many people don't come to the old wing because many people claim it's haunted.
- Is it? - Extremely.
But you'll have to see that for yourself.
- Hold up.
I'm not going in there alone.
Come with me.
- Can't.
- If you think I'm going into a place that scares a member of the undead, you've flipped your pancake.
- I'm not scared.
It's just some of the ghosts that wander those halls I put them there.
- And why in the world would I go in there by myself? - Because Josh and I can only help you so far.
There may be answers in there.
- Well, wait.
What if they hate me in there, you know like they hate you? - You'll be fine.
(sighing) - I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
Holy creepies.
(woman shouting in distance, indistinct) (Sally breathing unevenly) - Have you seen her? (gasping) Have you seen my Constance? She said she wouldn't be long.
Have you seen her? - No, I - Leave her alone, Nathan.
Man's been lookin' for Constance goin' on 40 years now.
I don't think he gets it.
My name's Barbara, by the way.
(exhaling sharply) - What is all this? - This is where people like us come to search for things: loved ones who've passed those still on their way.
How about you? What are you looking for? (woman whispering, indistinct) - I I don't know Away out.
- That's the most popular question on these walls.
- Has it worked for anyone? - The answer to that question is different for each one of us.
(sighing) - So it's a shot in the dark.
- Sometimes it helps just to announce you're here.
(many voices whispering, indistinct) - You must have seen her.
You were out there with the living.
- You know, I need to get a message out.
- Okay, but I can't-- - It was Sabatino and his guys.
They're the only ones that knew.
- Ah, don't worry, honey.
They can't hurt ya.
No one can.
You're one of us now.
(chuckling) - No! I'm not one of you! (Barbara still chuckling) (panting) (birds chirping) (boy 1): Where do you think you're going? Gimme your bag! (boy 2): Give that back! - You little twerp.
- Stop it! - No, make me.
- Leave me alone! (boy 1 laughing) - Come on, loser! You gotta catch it.
What's he got in here, anyways? - Hey! That's enough.
Leave him alone.
- Why don't you mind your own business? 'What? - Get out of here, creeper.
- How about a little respect for your elders? - Yeah? What you gonna do? Hit me, and my dad will own your ass.
(sniffing) - Okay, wait.
Which one of you wets the bed? It's you, isn't it? - I don't wet my bed.
- Uh, yeah, you do.
You reek of it.
I'll bet you wake up early every morning at the crack of dawn scrubbing the sheets until the sun comes up, but you just can't wash it all away, can you? (scoffing) - Let's go.
- Dude, you really pee your bed? - Shut up! .
Are you okay? - Yeah, thanks.
Normally I can get away, but I forgot my keys.
- What's your name? - My name's Bernie.
I'm a neighbour.
- Nobody's home, huh? - My mom's at work.
Do you think it'd be okay if I wait for her at your house? - Uh I don't think that that would be a - Okay, well, I guess I can wait here.
Maybe they won't come back.
- Okay, come on.
- Hey! Where have you been hiding? - Me? No hide.
I mean, I don't (chuckling) I have no reason to hide.
- We haven't talked since everything went down with your sister.
Is she okay? - Emily, yeah.
She's fine.
I got her cleaned up, took her home, saw my folks.
It was great.
How 'bout you? How have you been? Um, I, um I saw you with Dr.
Reid at the b-bar.
You two looked very close.
Friendly.
- Wow stalk much? - No, not much.
I mean, I don't stalk you - or anyone, really, for that matter - because I'm not a stalker.
I happened to be there and you happened to be there, so - Why didn't you come over? - I didn't wanna crash your date.
Was it Was it that? A date, I mean.
- I do love to watch you squirm.
It's as though you're an artist and awkward is your medium.
- Listen.
If you and Reid are having a thing, I get it.
Okay? But I'd really like to get together again, maybe have a a a date that doesn't end with us tending to my battered sister.
- What about tonight, 8:00? I'll cook for you this time.
- Tonight? Like, tonight tonight? - I have a week of night shifts coming up.
What do you say? - Is Dr.
Reid okay with it? (chuckling) - It was an after-work drink that could've turned into a date.
- Ah.
- But you missed the end where his beer exploded onto his lap.
- Oh, no, I saw that.
- It was strange.
Beyond strange, actually.
How do you feel about lamb chops? - Do you have any idea about the freak show going on in this hospital? - No, not now.
- Not now? - No! - Yes, now.
- No, I mean, I I used to like lamb chops, but but but not now, because I got sick from them once.
Diarrhea.
- Oh! - Really? - Yeah, so But I'd love to give them another shot.
(both talking simultaneously) - So 8:00 is good? - 8:00 is awesome.
- Great.
- Wow! You don't even care! - So it's a date.
- Oh, my God! - Why would Aidan do that to me? - What the hell was that? - I don't know.
- Okay, I've gotta I've gotta go finish up some stuff.
I'll see you tonight? - Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
- So what time is your mom coming home? - 6:30.
Got any tens? (clicking tongue) - Go fish.
- This is fun.
(chuckling) Really? Go Fish? Bernie, your fun bar is set a little low.
- Normally, I'd just be watching TV or doing my homework.
- Got any favourite subjects? - History.
I'm doing a project on Paul Revere.
- Oh, what a tool.
- Who? Paul Revere? How would you know'? (Josh): Hello! It was an after-work drink! - You blood-sucking turd! - We're going out tonight! Hello there, little friend.
- Oh, thi? Um This is Bernie from across the street.
Bernie, this is Josh.
He's hanging out with us until his mom comes to get him.
- I was getting bullied.
- Oh! Beat up? - Backpack keep-away.
- See, that's - You're lucky I can't touch stuff, or else I'd take a piece of wood, I'd sharpen it into a stake, and shove it straight up your-- - So, Bern, you hungry? - I could eat.
- Good.
Um, I'll make you a sandwich.
Ahem.
(whooshing) - What in the hell were you thinking? - I was thinking maybe you could connect with your own kind, make a friend-- - A friend? A friend.
Who? One of those things in that hallway? - They're not things.
They're spirits like you.
- Not like that, I'm not.
- Well, not yet.
Right now, you're okay.
But if you stick around, you let things remain unresolved, sooner or later, it will be too late.
You will end up just like those people you saw today, searching for the pieces of a puzzle that doesn't even exist anymore.
- What are you playing? - Go Fish.
He likes it.
- That is so adorable, I can't even be mad at you right now.
Are you telling me you're a kid person? - Hi, I'm Cindy Landon, Bernie's mom.
- Aidan.
Hi.
Here he is.
- Bernie, what were you thinking, coming over to a stranger's house? - He's a neighbour, and I called before I came over.
- Oh, you called.
He could've murdered you between the phone and the door.
- Mom - No offense.
I mean, you never know who's living across the street.
- Aidan saved me from getting my ass stomped again.
- Language! - I'm sorry.
There's no other way to describe it.
- I was happy to do it.
Really.
- Thank you.
If I can ever return the favour.
- Oh, I promise to call you if anyone picks on me.
Bernie! (laughing) See you later.
- Did you double-down on antiperspirant? You sweat a lot when you're nervous.
- I went through half a Speed Stick.
- Okay.
How's your breath? (exhaling) I don't have a sense of smell anymore.
(exhaling) (sniffing) - I gotta be honest, it smells like dog to me.
But I'm sure it's minty fresh.
- You know, I should just postpone this thing.
- Well, why? - I'm turning tomorrow .
so? - So he's saying he You feel wolfy.
Right? - Ahem.
- Okay, I don't know what "feeling wolfy" means, but I do know that you haven't gotten laid in two years.
Josh, be the wolf! Huh? - Be the wolf.
- Be the wolf.
(song): I've been a castaway - And the jerk just kept throwing magazines at me! (Josh chuckling) - So what did you do? - I threw every magazine back at him and told him I didn't care if he was the archbishop.
I'd kick him out of my waiting room.
- Nice.
Okay.
So my nominee for worst patient ever is Mr.
Fisicos.
I think he might be the meanest dia No, the meanest person I have literally ever met in my life.
- Yeah.
They amputated both his legs today.
- Oh.
It was great Iasa great lasagna.
(chuckling) Just great.
Ahem.
- This part sucks, doesn't it? - What part? - The part where we sit here and talk in circles, when all we wanna do is move on to the good stuff, the kissing and the groping.
- Yeah I was kind of waiting for my opening, you know? Just, like, a signal or something.
- Hmm, like the tour.
Yeah, when a woman wants to show you her apartment, it's usually just an excuse to get you in the bedroom.
Come on! No one's ever offered you the tour? - I'm afraid not.
- Josh Would you like to see the rest of my apartment? (giggling) - No.
Nope! (chuckling) Mm! - You have really soft lips.
- I'm a big lip-balm guy- (giggling) (panting) (growling) (growling) Oh, my God! - What, what, what? What's the matter? - Nothing.
Uh, nothing.
No, it's it's I just I can't.
- Why, why, why'? Did I do something? - No.
God, no.
You're perfect.
No, it's me.
It's my it's my problem.
- Well, what? What is it, then? I'm a nurse.
I promise this is nothing I haven't seen before.
- I just I have I have a problem controlling myself.
- You and about 30 billion other guys.
That's that's not that big a deal.
Come on, we'll take it slow.
- No, no.
I I I really I really should I I'm sorry.
I should go.
This was love This was a lovely evening.
I I I'll call you tomorrow, okay? (door closing) (sighing) - Hey, Aidan! .
Hey! What's up? - Not much.
So you wanna kick a ball around or something? - Uh Bernie, I'm, like, 200 years older than you.
- I don't care.
- They always there? - Pretty much.
- You know what? Let's do it.
- Really? - Ah, yeah.
- Hey, Mom, is it cool if I go to the park with Aidan? - I'm sure Aidan's busy.
- Actually, I'm incredibly un-busy.
- Please? - Get your jacket.
Are you trying to use my son to pick up girls? 'Cause that only works with babies.
- No, puppies are good too.
(chuckling) - Guess there's there's no guidebook for how to handle this, is there? - What do you mean? - Letting him go, be a normal kid and all that.
You seem like a good guy, Aidan, and I really appreciate what you did for Bernie, but I hardly know you, and if anything ever happens-- - Well, then you know where I live.
I promise I will watch out for him.
(dog barking) .
Okay' Have fun.
Be careful! - Why are you vacuuming like a crazy person? 'What? It's all good.
- Do you want to talk about it? (chuckling nervously) - I growled.
'What? - Nora and I, we were being together, and I (sighing) growled.
- Like, you were trying to be sexy? - No.
- Well, did she mind? - She didn't notice.
- Oh.
So what's the problem? (whooshing) - I lost control.
I knew l had no business being around anybody, especially Nora, but I went anyway.
- Because you like Nora, and she likes you, and you deserved to go on a date.
- She doesn't deserve to have me, what I am inflicted on her.
She deserves a guy like Dr.
Reid.
(sighing) - What you are? What you are is alive.
Yeah, one night every four weeks you turn into a wolf.
But every other day, you get to have a job you get to go on dates fall in love.
I'd kill to have your life, Josh.
I'd kill to have any life.
- I gotta be honest with you, Bernie.
It's a little strange that you're out here when you could be locked in your room playing mindless video games.
- I like soccer.
- Oh, yeah? Huh.
Well, if fresh air's your thing, what else do you like? - I like boats.
My dad had one.
- Really? Did you ever go out on it? - Once.
I don't really remember a whole lot about him, though, but I just remember that boat.
I liked it.
What'd you wanna be when you grew up? - I wanted to take over my dad's printing press, but then the the war came, so I joined the army.
- Did you get to do bad-ass stuff like shoot a gun? Did you kill somebody? - There's nothing good about war, Bernie.
Trust me on this.
- Oh.
Did you take over your dad's printing press or whatever when you got back? - No.
'Things had changed.
- Ow! (Bernie groaning) - You all right? - Think so.
Yeah, just a scrape.
See? - Yeah, it's okay.
- Come on, Aidan.
Don't be a wuss.
- Yeah, it's just a scrape.
- Can I play? - Could you give me a minute? - What's with the midget? - He's just a neighbourhood kid.
What are you doing here? - I wanted to see you.
We left things a little abruptly, didn't we? Or you did.
Look, I get that you're trying to be careful, I guess.
But I was being honest with you that night and I thought we were on our way to being normal.
- Normal? Yeah.
Yeah, it was a completely normal evening right up until Marcus attacked Josh's sister.
- He did what? - Oh - Aidan I swear I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Yeah, because you're so innocent.
- On this, I am.
Please believe me.
(sighing) - Now is not the time.
- I miss you.
I'm lonely.
Aren't you? Haven't you been thinking about me? (panting) - You may have crossed my mind.
(sighing) I should go.
(sighing) - I've been watching you with him.
You must've been a father once.
Probably a great one, right? (siren in distance) - We need to talk.
- I was just- - Now.
- I I have a tiny bit of time I don't have - You're embarrassed.
- I'm a lot of things.
- You are.
You're smart, and sexy, adorable.
- Nora, you don't have to do this.
- I know l don't have to.
I want to.
And when I want something, I'm patient.
It's nothing to be ashamed about.
We don't have to rush right into things.
There's plenty of stuff we can do to lead us there.
Ahem.
(sighing) Are you attracted to me? - Oh, my God, yes.
You're you're beautiful.
Your eyes, your touch.
The smell of you.
- Then give me a chance-- (both moaning) I left the TV on And lit a cigarette I left the words to you (growling) The things that! would let (panting) You getaway with things And I stay up all night (growling) I don't wanna hear you Hear you speak (moaning) (growling) - That's a little film called Evan Almighty.
- And that's your favourite movie? - I've seen it 11 times.
So what do you think? - Ahem.
Do you want me to be honest? - Yeah.
- L hated it.
The plot was trite.
It was boring.
It was insulting, even.
I'm dumber for having watched it.
I can't believe you enjoy this drivel! - I'm 10.
- No, look, you're just the right age to hit the comedic jackpot that is the Three Stooges.
- That sounds lame.
- Oh! Lame? Really? Let me ask you a question.
Big bald guy gets hit with a sack of wrenches, then is poked in the eye by a guy with a bowl cut.
What? Funny or not? - That's funny.
- Yes! Good.
Now, up in my room, tons of Three Stooges DVDs.
Pick any ones you want.
You'll thank me later.
Yes! Go.
Very important.
Go, go, go! (door buzzing) Come in! Bernie will be down in a second.
- I feel like I should pay you for babysitting.
- Oh, no problem.
I do have one concern.
Are you aware of the crappy movies that he's watching? (laughing) - Why are you two always over here anyways? You should spend some time at our house.
You could come over tonight.
Oh, God! Am I being Creepy Mom? - No! (both chuckling) - I'll just blame that on happy hour and half-priced mojitos.
(chuckling) (running footsteps) - All right.
Here you go, pal.
- See you, Aidan! - Bye, you two.
(door closing) (siren wailing in distance) (both panting) - I don't know what you were talking about.
You controlled yourself pretty well there, mister.
(Whispering)I Oh, my God! Oh, my God! (panting) (clothing rustling) - Josh? Classy.
(panting) (woman talking, indistinct) .
I-m sorry- (indistinct chatter) - Do you think Bernie will like this? - Someone made a new friend.
- Shut up! - It's sweet.
He could use an older man in his life, and you could definitely stand a little innocence.
What's age, anyway? You're what? - 257.
- For real? (door opening) - I ran out of time.
Get everything breakable out of the room! - How much time do we have? - Minutes.
Save the TV! - Whoa, whoa! What's going on? - I'm changing.
- In the house? - Turn the stereo up loud.
- But you just cleaned! (rock music playing) - Ah! It's coming.
Get out now.
(Josh grunting) - Sally, come on! - I wanna see what happens.
- No! - Why not? You can't hurt me.
- I don't care about that! Ah! (panting) Fine, do whatever.
Just stand where I can't see you.
- Are you sure? (Sally): Yes! (rock music playing) So, ballpark, how long does it-- (screaming) (screaming) (Josh screaming) (roaring) (bones cracking) (roaring) Josh? (growling) (growling) (glass breaking) I never imagined it'd happen like that (thudding and growling) that that's what he goes through.
- Every four weeks for the rest of his life.
(growling) (dishes clinking) (sighing) - 'Morning.
.
Are you okay? - Yeah.
Ahem.
I'm sorry about last night.
I never wanted to bring it home.
- You ran out of time.
- I don't really know what to say to you, 'cause it's like you've seen me naked only way, way worse.
- Just don't say anything.
And don't don't apologize.
I'm the one who should be sorry throwing a pity party for myself and telling you to suck it up.
- Yeah.
Not your most gracious hour.
(whooshing) - When I saw you become-- - Now you get it, right'? My my hesitation with people, with Nora.
- I do.
(sighing) You have it so much worse than me, Josh.
(whooshing) (sighing) All the more reason you deserve happiness.
- Thank you.
Now you have to leave.
- What? - Nora called and she's a little rageful and she's on her way over and I have to clean this place up.
And she already thinks I'm a freak after jumping her bones and running out on her.
And when you're around odd things happen.
And it's not your fault, it's just they happen, 'cause it's you and well, Nora, she's a little - She's scared of me.
- No, she can't even see you.
Kind of.
Yeah, she's scared of you.
- Because I'm a monster too.
- No, you're not a monster.
You're a being.
- Josh.
It's okay.
When you say jumped her-- - No.
- All right.
We'll talk later.
- Yeah.
- Go.
Uh - It doesn't have to be spotless.
Just less Diary of a Madman.
- It's really not that bad.
(doorbell buzzing) - What kind of animal gives this garbage to a 10-year-old boy? - Cindy, look, I I don't know what you think happened, but I didn't give this to Bernie.
How much did he see? - He saw exactly what you wanted him to see, you monster, two people screwing in a hotel.
You come near Bernie again, I'll kill you.
- Cindy.
Cindy, wait! Cindy, Cindy! I would never, never give that stuff to Bernie.
- Oh, my God! I am so stupid! I can't believe I trusted you.
I wanted to trust you.
"He's a good guy," I told myself.
"He's a good neighbour.
Bernie needs something like that.
" .
¢I.
.
- Don't talk to me! Don't ever talk to me! - I am not like that! I am not some (sighing) - What? Say it.
Pervert? 'Cause that's what you are, right? Some sick little piece of scum that gets off on little kids.
- Mom! I took it.
- Why? - Aidan told me to go up to his room to grab some Three Stooges DVDs and I saw it on the shelf.
I just wanted to see what was on it.
- Go in the house.
' L.
m orr ! y' - Cindy, I am so sorry.
- Stay away from my son.
(sighing) - You kept this.
Why? - I don't know.
I was gonna throw it away, Josh, but then I thought: I should keep this.
I deserve it.
I cut myself off from everything else.
I can keep just this one thing.
- This one thing flies in the face of What are we doing? If you're gonna hold onto things like this, what's the point? (door slamming) - There he is, Mr.
Hit-and-Run.
- Nora, I'm sorry.
I'rn I know you're mad.
.
Mad? If my legs hadn't been jellied, I would've chased you down and kicked your ass last night.
- Yeah, about that, the the the jellied legs.
I mean, I I didn't do that.
I I'm I did, but I didn't.
- I was I was there.
You You did.
And then you bolted on me.
- I didn't bolt, I I mean, I I did.
- Okay, remember howl said it's cute when you're awkward? This isn't cute.
- I'm so sorry that I left the Way that I did.
I'm mortified by my behaviour.
I'm not the kind of guy who does that.
I'm also not the kind of guy who mounts women spontaneously and has furious animal sex.
- You're not? - Not always.
- Oh, thank God! I I can't believe I went with it myself.
I mean, it was it was something else.
(both chuckling) But I I I don't know.
It's just it's not really my style.
(sighing) I'm not a prude, but I I like more - Romance? Yes, me too.
Courtship, all that.
I'rn - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I think there's I think there's something here between us.
Let's just take some time to figure it out.
- Yeah, I'd like that.
